NAME: Vreneli Stadelmaier
COUNTRY: The Netherlands
BACKGROUND: University Groningen MBA
ACTION/SECTOR: Services and Education
POSITION: Owner, Manager, Coach, Presenter
My Background and Career
I am quite proud having received the Dutch ‘Joke Smit emancipation price’ in 2015, from the ministry, for my total legacy of work with ‘SheConsult’. We are coaching high-educated women, when taking next steps in their career and developing their talents. The impact of this price is: more publicity and more invitations for presentations with my, also in English translated, (e)-book ‘Sure She Can, crush this insecurity’. I am an entrepreneur for 20 years and discovered that, not entering the board rooms by women, is specially caused by feelings of insecurity: failure feelings, fake feelings, believes of ‘found out’. Policy can set targets for top women, however if we are not working at diminishing and handling these feelings, I believe nothing will change.
I believe, if I had had a coach in critical moments of my life, I had not quit a nice management job, because I was not aware of the political and strategic games, you have to be able to play. And probably had I chosen the common explored business, instead of the house, when being divorced. It did not made me unhappy, though. I now have a nice new husband, sharing managerial tasks equally and I got 2 ‘bonus’ children extra, besides my own. But these choices were so ‘feminine’. It is so often the woman who gives up, by feelings of insecurity. I myself experienced it, with thousands of high educated women, in my coaching practice. In the USA they call it the ‘impostor syndrome’. Feelings of failure, low self-confidence, thinking that you are not up to the job, afraid of being a fake and soon someone will ‘find out’. Even Meryl Streep tells us having these feelings. Our research showed: 65% of the women in the Netherlands are troubled by these feelings against one third of the men. And the main problem: the higher you climb in organisations, the more feelings of fears of (unjustified) inadequacy you can face.
That is why I persist in coaching women, give a lot of presentations and organise (online) activities such as: all female Dutch networks, SheNews.nl and SheTalentbank.com
To gain a higher impact, I organised a lot of coaching locations all over the Netherlands. However, I then was only busy with managing processes and missed the practical coaching and presentation activities. I discovered that writing books, gives my thoughts and theories an even higher impact, while being active myself with what I love the most: helping women in taking further steps.
I love doing sports and I meditate. That helps you a lot
Hints & Tips
• Don’t listen to the little sizzling voices in your head, that makes you feel insecure. Instead research them, where are they come from and transform them to positive messages.
• Be brave, complaining does not help you a lot.
• If you have to do something ‘difficult’? Stand for a while in the ‘gorilla position’, make the sound and feel yourself powerful. (Of course on a secret place;)